Life is what you do when you're waiting to die

Things change so quickly.  My BFA class never got to say goodbye.  There was no real Super Saturday party, a planned class get-together was a hot mess of co-op randos, and it seems that in the end no one really cared about letting go.  I am saddened by this.  I guess I couldn't have expected MY class to be the sentimental ones... We hated each other more than we loved each other over the past three years.  Still, in the end we did become a class, and I am sad to not have had the opportunity to say goodbye to so many wonderful people.  Even now, I feel so far away from everyone.  Mountain time adds to this, but it seems like Graduation was months ago.

I am extremely grateful for Idyllwild Arts taking my mind off of such things.  I have a job.  I even have paid acting gigs lined up.  Life is pretty damn good.  I have a plan.  A flexible one, but still... a plan!  More of a plan than most people have.  I'm pretty sure I'm moving to Tucson sometime near the end of the year.  I'll be living with Riisa, saving up for a move to New York in the Spring.

I'm feeling introspective right now.  Whatever.

Life is...

Wow, I never blog anymore.  How funny that my last entry was when I got cast in She Stoops?!  It would be impossible to recap the last year and a half, so I won’t.

I’m graduating in 3 weeks.  How strange.  The past four years have yielded some phenomenal highs.  The shows are the big memories.  McBeth, R&J, True Love, Stoops, On the Verge, Cloud Nine, Tartuffe, and Piezo were all such amazing learning experiences.  And really, that’s because the people I was working with cared so much about the projects.  Like Frannie McDormand says, “It’s about the WORK!”

This summer, I’ll be working at Idyllwild Arts Summer Academy as a Youth Counselor.  I’m also acting in On A Bench, a play for the Pacific Pride Festival in Santa Barbara in July… my first paid acting gig!  After Idyllwild, it looks like I will be in good ol’ Brawley for a while, saving up more money.  Might be in Santa Barbara for a part of the fall if another project comes through… we shall see!  Once I’m done with school, life will be concerned with making money.  I’m moving to New York when I have the funding… hopefully by the spring of 2013.  Let’s hope the world doesn’t end!  I’ve got a lot of life to live.  And it’s going very well right now.  I mean, I’m currently rehearsing for 3 projects, but once June 18^th comes around, I’m gonna miss this busy schedule.  Although it is busy, I feel an overwhelming sense of good energy.  I’ve been slowly but surely readying myself to take life into my own hands, and I couldn’t be more excited to do so.

I have changed incredibly over the last few years.  I have lost 135 lbs.  I have found myself as a person and artist.  I have learned how to respect my work and critique it effectively.  I am so compelled to begin to live as a true artist, enriching the world through the work I do.  As long as I can keep hold of that need, to enrich the lives of others, to teach people about themselves, to examine humanity, I know I will remain on track.

Life is good, y’all.  And Ellwood is a beautiful place… :)

-D… (I’m not big anymore.)

Lots to be thankful for

I know these posts are far and few between, sorry! I'm always so damn busy these days, which is a good thing... most of the time.

O, hang on sadness and lamentations of a busy life! Now come the juicy, recent-life highlights!

I've been having the time of my life this year in the BFA. The quarter seemed a little weird at first, but I think it was just the combination of finally being a Junior and having no free weekends thanks to the remounting of McBeth. I love doing that show, but the remount nearly killed me.

I had a great time working on Richard III in class, and an even better time working on Dromio from Comedy of Errors, both in class.

I got cast in True Love, by Charles Mee, as a transvestite named Red Dicks. It was one of the most rewarding and fun experiences I've ever had working on a show. That character taught me so much about how to view the world, and made me realize that even though I thought I lived life fuller than most, there was still a lot I wasn't noticing. And furthermore, if I was only seeing part of the beauty in life, how much were other people missing? And that became such a huge part of her- that character. I had so much motive every night to inject the audience with a sense of vitality. And at the end of the last run, I experience such an amazing theater-moment. I won't go into details, but the audience was on-their-feet freaking out with energy. And it was so perfect for the mood of the show! As an actor, you live for those moments of kinetic audience/performer electricity.

And now, I'll be playing Tony Lumpkin in She Stoops to Conquer! It's a mainstage in the Hatlen, our biggest house, and a role that such amazing actors as Antony Sher and Nathan Lane have played over the years. Just thinking about everything that will come along with a mainstage... costume fittings, production photos, what's sure to be a fucking EPIC set!!! This is literally such an amazing role. I've never played a character like this. He's my age, he's a cad, cunning trickster, he's got a devilish energy... He and I have so many similarities and differences, and I know it's going to be an incredible journey of discovery that will hopefully lead to a fantastic six performances. I still can't believe I'm adding Tony Lumpkin to my character journal.

And so, I guess that just about sums up this post. I'm looking forward to a nice meal tomorrow, a brisk, busy ending week to the fall quarter (I really should get on that paper...), a few days of "studying" in prep for my only written final, and then it's home for the holidays, and some good, early work on Stoopage. Not sure when another blog will pop up, but I'm sure Stoops will yield plenty of great stories.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Mini Life Recap

For anyone who cares... :)

Romeo and Juliet was amazing. We got raves in 3 papers/magazines (legit raves) and my Capulet has been well-received all around, which feels really great. I have no shame is saying I'm glad I got good feedback... some people pretend not to care, but the truth is: We work REALLY hard. The audience demands our best, and we have to give it to them, or we don't get an audience. When things go well, it makes the work feel so gratifying, and extremely fun, especially with Shakespeare.

I'm now working on Richard III, and it's terrifying... which is why I chose to work on it. I picked up the paper, started reading the monologue, and immediately thought, "Oooooh shit. This is impossible. I think I have to do it."

This isn't a huge recap, but here's my last thing. Thank goodness for friends! If I didn't have some of the best people working with/around me, I know I would feel very lost in this ridiculous major. I'm so grateful that I have good people to support me, and who let me support them. Brian and I are both doing Richard monologues, and today we chilled for an hour, working and talking in the Studio, and it was extremely therapeutic. I said earlier that we work really hard, and that doesn't just mean onstage. This program kicks our asses every day of the week. I'm so glad I have good people to help me along. Thank you all.

Have a nice day.

:-)

I am now "El Chico del Apartomento Ciento Treinta!!!!"

I'm blogging from my apartment!!! I just had to do it. I mean, I guess there was no choice... unless I went somewhere else. But why would I? This apartment rocks!

And I just found the remote. I feel like a rock star.

But I'm kinda bored.

I work 11-2 tonight. What shall I do until then? If only the new Pillars of the Earth was online!!!

-Bored D

Some people...

Dude, like, why is it that some people can totally ignore you and infuriate you and then the next time you see them and they're like, "Haaay!" you're like, "All mad thoughts go to a secret place, happy mask ON." Like, seriously? When someone starts a conversation with you about something upsetting and then you genuinely want to find out if everything is okay and then they just don't reply? Why is that? Is it because you think "Uh-oh, bitch be creepin' up on my personal shit, I shouldn't have said anything... RUN!" Ooh! Or is it, "Fuck, I'll bet he's gonna appear sexy to me in an 'I'm helping you through some shit,' way and I cannot make him think I'm interested!" Or is it just that you didn't really mean to start any conversation, you just wanted to keep me posted like I'm on fuckin' twitter or some shit. "Sad life event happened, just fyi. It's not a conversation point, though, so back off."

Seriously, leading someone on via text should be punishable by some Victorian form of torture. And of course, that person probably just decided to take a shower or go to sleep (even though the latter is still a bit rude) and you suddenly feel like you're right up there with Mel Gibson as an Honorable Mention Douchebag - 2010. Honestly, it's like... I'm over you, so I'm asking out of human compassion... are you okayyyyyyy?

Ooh, I'm missing something important on True Blood, I think. Uh-oh... I have not been watching this episode closely enough. Sookie's a fairy, y'all. Whatever. I want more Jessica!! I love her.

Hmmm... what else shall I talk about to make this post sound less "meh, me no know how to cope with being ignored..."

Legalize marijuana already! Seriously, it's been a long time since the 30s when all the propaganda about it being addictive and dangerous was actually believed. People are smarter today, and they know that it's all bull shit! If everyone smoked, there would seriously be less war, less depression, and less anger in the world. But I'm not gonna go on a weed crusade right now.

Ooooooooooooooh dear... What next?

IT'S OFFICIAL!!! IN THE HEIGHTS ON THURSDAY!!!!!! hell yeah, bitches. Que, sera, sera!!!

Time to continue my night... SB in a week!

-Big D

summertiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime, and the dying is... apparently not as easy as years past!

I should not be speaking so soon, but I'm very relieved that people aren't dropping like flies this year. If you've been following this shit-sack blog written by this anus-face booger, you'll know that people I know (and celebrities) start dying around my birthday. It's been unavoidable since the summer of 2003 when my dog (who was my same age and had grown up with me) Spicer(oni) was found dead on my birthday, just before my friends and I went out to see a movie. Since then, the time of my birth has been plagued by death. Even Michael Mothafuckin' Jackson... Anyway, nothings happened thus far in 2010, but I still have 2 days. I think this explains the unexplainable feelings of moodiness and edge I've exhibited recently.

In other news, I only have 2 more weeks in Brawley! I will be back in SB very soon, living it up in my apartment and rehearsing for Romeo and Juliet. I started out excited, but now I'm getting nervous... I need to STUDY THE FUCKIN' PLAY!!!

I'm excited for my Vampire Literature class! I don't really give a shit about vampires, but it sounds like lots of fun.

I love Brawley, but I HATE HATE HATE that we are this far southeast. I wanted to visit so many friends this summer, and it never happened.

I also HATE HATE HATE the current farming economy. I've pretty much vowed to not talk politics on here because I'm too independent for anyone to appreciate, but I will say that Obama's administration has done nothing to help farming. And when the fuck did people start assuming that farmers are rich? I will tell you now that these assumptions are LOADS OF SHIT! Just fyi. My point is I had no money to visit any of my friends in NY, the place I eventually want to live and work, the place I've just assumed for my entire life that I'd love, my FUTURE. Never been. Nope.

Oh my god, do you see how moody this post is? I am so gross!

Lets try to think of something happy...

I might see In the Heights in LA soon! That would be fantastic! But, like every other plan this summer, it might die. Hmmm, maybe death hasn't gone away, but remains in the form of dying dreams.

Here's a happy thing... I've been following Everyday Rapture since it was called You May Now Worship Me, and though I've listened to it since last year as a bootleg, I can't get enough of this song.