That's a little spoiler from the monologue I'll be performing in the Monologue Festival in January. I'm so excited! I'm extremely grateful to have been cast, as well as to have two pieces I wrote be performed in the festival! I'm not going to release them on here, but I'd be happy to show them to you if you facebook, skype, or email me. They're quite funny. And they will be performed two absolutely fantastic Juniors, Jak Watson and Emily Mckeown. They will surely breathe life into my work.
Yesterday was a very hard day. We lost five fantastic actors from the the BFA, dwindling our class size down to 20. If the goal size is 12-14, there's still a long way to go. All the upperclassmen were so sweet. When we walked into the lounge where we waited to hear our fate, we found a box of donuts from the cast of Five Women Wearing the Same Dress, munchies from Tarah, and Amanda brought us home-baked cookies. I had just forced myself to eat lunch, so I wasn't hungry. I'm continuing in the program, but it is still sad to think of the fine people I won't have in classes next quarter. One of them left by choice, but it was still hard to say goodbye.
In my eval, the faculty stressed one thing: "Let your freak flag fly." I've been a bit reserved this quarter, internalizing a lot. With my monologue demanding me to play a crazed Somali pirate in constant search of food, who's deferred dream is to open a starchy food restaurant... I think they'll be pleased.
My liver hates me. Thursday night, I participated in Whiskey Night with a friend from English, in celebration that that ship has sailed (though not for me, since I need to turn in my paper still.). I was drunk off my ass and a bit stoned. Friday night I was clean because the next morning was Super Saturday, which went very well. That night, I got drunk at the Super Saturday/Tarah's Birthday party! Sunday night, first cut party. So many wonderful pictures that will never get to facebook. Monday night, blazed with some BFAers at Nico's, then went to the Five Women cast party and got drunk. I was high as balls. Erika was freaking out about how hilarious I was. I love bongs. I just never get the same high from a piece or blunt.
Now it's Tuesday, my paper is going to be a day late when I turn it in at 330 tomorrow, and I have to live with that. No substances tonight. Just plain work. It could very well become an all-nighter, but I'm hoping to hit the hay at about 3 AM.
It's so odd to have upperclassmen congratulating me on my Super Saturday scene, the cuts, or the monologue festival. I feel so honored to be working in this fantastic program! I mean, I'M GOING TO PERFORM IN THE STUDIO! I, Dylan Hale, got cast over how ever many people auditioned in those 5 hours on Sunday. Shit! This isn't gloating, this is dis-belief. Hot damn!
Well, I'm going to change into pants so that I can go out into the cold and eat with ET. Can't wait to see all you Brawley people over the break. I'll be home Sunday. Roomie leaves tomorrow, and I have three days with the room to myself! Hallelujah!
Love to you all, and thanks for believing in me.
-Big D.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
if wishes and buts were clusters of nuts, we'd all have a bowl of i miss you (thank you alliemenz)
on days like this
when the sun glints a little too brightly
and the body is half numb from
the previous night's frolic
i remember the old summer days
of curly fries and cookie shakes
and laughter
lizzie maguire
sex and the city
far and away
and recently
weeds
how i wish those days joined with these days to add
true blood
and angels and
summer heights high
the brothers bloom
and the oc
but you're gone
taken away by a man on a horse
waking with him at first light
so i cannot drunk dial you at 2 in the morning
this man on a horse is a wonderful man
but am i not wondrous as well
we each live by mountains but ocean i see
and i have the cool seasons weather
not he
but we all need a man on a horse
and who can say that dreaming brings him no closer
but if your horse gets restless
and your man cannot jump
and they desecrate on your life before galloping past
i will help you clean away the horse shit
repay me in time
when the sun glints a little too brightly
and the body is half numb from
the previous night's frolic
i remember the old summer days
of curly fries and cookie shakes
and laughter
lizzie maguire
sex and the city
far and away
and recently
weeds
how i wish those days joined with these days to add
true blood
and angels and
summer heights high
the brothers bloom
and the oc
but you're gone
taken away by a man on a horse
waking with him at first light
so i cannot drunk dial you at 2 in the morning
this man on a horse is a wonderful man
but am i not wondrous as well
we each live by mountains but ocean i see
and i have the cool seasons weather
not he
but we all need a man on a horse
and who can say that dreaming brings him no closer
but if your horse gets restless
and your man cannot jump
and they desecrate on your life before galloping past
i will help you clean away the horse shit
repay me in time
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Socks + Shoes = Less Crackly Feet
In a very confused place right now. Not really sure how much I should tell you.
So, my Acting midterm went very well, at least I thought so... until I talked to Irwin about it. "It wasn't realistic. Real people don't act like that. I have no idea what you are thinking right now. You were completely on display. Whats more, it was all like this *floats hand in straight line*. It didn't change. It wasn't real." Can you say it with me now? DISCOURAGEMENT! So I went to the rest of them, ready to hear that same things since they had all discussed them. Here is what I heard:
Michael Morgan had nothing to say except that my breath should have changed when my character went through his change. Otherwise, fine. Good voice, strong presence.
Jeff thought it was good, wonderful voice, great presence. For the movement midterm: Loosen up in the trunk, but otherwise very good. Awesome steadiness when I held Adam, great using principles from class, and adapting to the notes he gave. "A joy to have in class/Love how you approach tumbling." I was so in shock at this one, I forgot to tell him how much I love being in class.
Annie thought it was "Lovely. A really beautiful moment of truth... so simple." She did say that it had been better once in the rehearsal process, but there was nothing to worry about. Then we chatted about my scene, which I'll get to.
Tom said he only wrote on note: Nice. "Sometimes, the light bulb is on, and sometimes the light bulb is off. It was on. Hahaha... it was on!" Love this guy.
So yeah, everyone but Irwin thought it was pretty strong piece. Odd, isn't it?
Jordan and I have been working very hard on our scene (BURN THIS, by Lanford Wilson), and I've done a lot of character work on Larry. I was excited to present it in class for the second time, off book. Sadly, Annie had a lot to say to us, especially me, on things we weren't really getting right. I felt so bad for Jordan, having to stop so much. She even said at one point, "I know it's hard when you have a character this loaded to stop and start like we're doing. I'm so sorry." She said it in no way blaming me, but I felt responsible. The sad thing is, she would say, "Okay, lets stop. Good, you guys, really good. (Pause.) Larry, is this a comfortable situation? *No.* Right, and you are showing the uncomfortable, which is great and true. But is Larry good at putting on a show? *Yes.* Yes. So I really want you to plant yourself." Easy concepts, but tough when you're doing it over and over, and things start to blur, and you can't go four or five lines without stopping again. I know every bit helps, but it's not easy, and I feel like it looks like I've done no prep work.
Because today was a holiday, she didn't have office hours. I'm going to try to catch her tomorrow to ask her some questions. I think I know what my problem is. I've done a lot of work on Larry's relationships with the other characters, his goals, arc, and spine, but what I need to do is scan the scene, internal-monologue it, in a way. And I need to do more work on finding him physically. So that's what I'm confused about. I'm in this place where I feel comfortable and scared at the same time. I got great feedback on midterms, but I'm struggling with Larry. Granted, a lot of this is probably psyching myself out, but I'm genuinely worried. I want to get Larry right. I know him. I love him. I really share a lot with him. It's hard to realize you're playing a character so close to your heart wrongly. Failing in class resulted in feeling like general shit, and a big heap of loneliness. I have tons of close friends here, don't get me wrong, but I really miss talking to some people, especially people who don't have Internet. Seriously, we live in America in the 21st century. This is not okay. I really needed to talk, but right people weren't on facebook, texting is ridiculous for serious conversations if you don't have a Blackberry, and calling wastes minutes.
Auditions for Winter Quarter shows are a week from Saturday. Annie is going to be acting in Kingdom City, which makes me want to be in that one even more. It's going to be hard to get, and I haven't even read the script yet, but I really want this. I'm going to give it all I've got. Risa is doing that, and the script is still being tweaked, so it's not available to read yet. Jeff is doing Trojan Women, and sent out the audition pieces, all speeches.
In non-BFA news, I saw The Brothers Bloom last night, and it was fantastic. Totally cheered me up. Highly recommend it. My Music 20C midterm went amazingly. I did It's Hard to Speak My Heart from Parade, and really nailed it. I was so into the character of Leo. If you don't know Parade, look it up and prepare to fall in love. Did I mention Annie was in it? Now working on an Italian opera song.
Still hate English 10. Need to read The Bluest Eye.
King's class sucks as usual, but not having it today was amazing!
Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and I'm very excited. It's Tucson again, and Johno and his bf KC are going to be there this time! Looking forward to some substance abuse maybe???
Well, that's it, y'all. I fell like there's so much more, but there's not. Listen to Parade, ask if you need a link to the OBCR, and watch The Brothers Bloom.
-Big D
So, my Acting midterm went very well, at least I thought so... until I talked to Irwin about it. "It wasn't realistic. Real people don't act like that. I have no idea what you are thinking right now. You were completely on display. Whats more, it was all like this *floats hand in straight line*. It didn't change. It wasn't real." Can you say it with me now? DISCOURAGEMENT! So I went to the rest of them, ready to hear that same things since they had all discussed them. Here is what I heard:
Michael Morgan had nothing to say except that my breath should have changed when my character went through his change. Otherwise, fine. Good voice, strong presence.
Jeff thought it was good, wonderful voice, great presence. For the movement midterm: Loosen up in the trunk, but otherwise very good. Awesome steadiness when I held Adam, great using principles from class, and adapting to the notes he gave. "A joy to have in class/Love how you approach tumbling." I was so in shock at this one, I forgot to tell him how much I love being in class.
Annie thought it was "Lovely. A really beautiful moment of truth... so simple." She did say that it had been better once in the rehearsal process, but there was nothing to worry about. Then we chatted about my scene, which I'll get to.
Tom said he only wrote on note: Nice. "Sometimes, the light bulb is on, and sometimes the light bulb is off. It was on. Hahaha... it was on!" Love this guy.
So yeah, everyone but Irwin thought it was pretty strong piece. Odd, isn't it?
Jordan and I have been working very hard on our scene (BURN THIS, by Lanford Wilson), and I've done a lot of character work on Larry. I was excited to present it in class for the second time, off book. Sadly, Annie had a lot to say to us, especially me, on things we weren't really getting right. I felt so bad for Jordan, having to stop so much. She even said at one point, "I know it's hard when you have a character this loaded to stop and start like we're doing. I'm so sorry." She said it in no way blaming me, but I felt responsible. The sad thing is, she would say, "Okay, lets stop. Good, you guys, really good. (Pause.) Larry, is this a comfortable situation? *No.* Right, and you are showing the uncomfortable, which is great and true. But is Larry good at putting on a show? *Yes.* Yes. So I really want you to plant yourself." Easy concepts, but tough when you're doing it over and over, and things start to blur, and you can't go four or five lines without stopping again. I know every bit helps, but it's not easy, and I feel like it looks like I've done no prep work.
Because today was a holiday, she didn't have office hours. I'm going to try to catch her tomorrow to ask her some questions. I think I know what my problem is. I've done a lot of work on Larry's relationships with the other characters, his goals, arc, and spine, but what I need to do is scan the scene, internal-monologue it, in a way. And I need to do more work on finding him physically. So that's what I'm confused about. I'm in this place where I feel comfortable and scared at the same time. I got great feedback on midterms, but I'm struggling with Larry. Granted, a lot of this is probably psyching myself out, but I'm genuinely worried. I want to get Larry right. I know him. I love him. I really share a lot with him. It's hard to realize you're playing a character so close to your heart wrongly. Failing in class resulted in feeling like general shit, and a big heap of loneliness. I have tons of close friends here, don't get me wrong, but I really miss talking to some people, especially people who don't have Internet. Seriously, we live in America in the 21st century. This is not okay. I really needed to talk, but right people weren't on facebook, texting is ridiculous for serious conversations if you don't have a Blackberry, and calling wastes minutes.
Auditions for Winter Quarter shows are a week from Saturday. Annie is going to be acting in Kingdom City, which makes me want to be in that one even more. It's going to be hard to get, and I haven't even read the script yet, but I really want this. I'm going to give it all I've got. Risa is doing that, and the script is still being tweaked, so it's not available to read yet. Jeff is doing Trojan Women, and sent out the audition pieces, all speeches.
In non-BFA news, I saw The Brothers Bloom last night, and it was fantastic. Totally cheered me up. Highly recommend it. My Music 20C midterm went amazingly. I did It's Hard to Speak My Heart from Parade, and really nailed it. I was so into the character of Leo. If you don't know Parade, look it up and prepare to fall in love. Did I mention Annie was in it? Now working on an Italian opera song.
Still hate English 10. Need to read The Bluest Eye.
King's class sucks as usual, but not having it today was amazing!
Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and I'm very excited. It's Tucson again, and Johno and his bf KC are going to be there this time! Looking forward to some substance abuse maybe???
Well, that's it, y'all. I fell like there's so much more, but there's not. Listen to Parade, ask if you need a link to the OBCR, and watch The Brothers Bloom.
-Big D
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Don't judge bag ladies. The woman sitting outside vons just might be a Ti Moune reincarnate.
I am currently sitting in the Loma Pelona Center, not studying. They're probably going to kick me out in about 5 minutes, which is ridiculous. Why does a study room close? Anyway, a few things on my mind.
I've started a journal to chronicle my experiences in the BFA. It's great because I can write about all of the drama that will happen and not get shit for it! Seriously though, it will be very fun to read in a couple years.
Got too drunk last night. God, I loves me some cheap wine, but it doesn't seem to love me. It's terrifying to wake up with a receipt in your pocket, but it's nice to know that between the 8 dollar burrito and the 3 dollar bagel, I chose the bagel. At least drunk me doesn't forget that I'm a poor college student.
I have King's midterm on Monday. Kill me. I hate Iceman Cometh, didn't read much of All My Sons, have not bought or sparknoted Member of the Wedding, and didn't buy the reader. King sucks ass for making me spend so much money, anyway.
Our Acting midterm is Tuesday. I'm so excited to see what the other class has come up with, but also very nervous for the faculty to see my piece. It's in good shape, and Annie really hasn't been able to say much about it in the way of critiques. However, there is still part of it that I'm going to work on Monday night after my King-term. I'll be sure to tell you how it goes.
I've stopped being a wuss about my car-accident-arm and started doing cartwheels in Movement. They suck, but I'm doing them. Headstands are not getting any easier because I can't seem to balance my legs. The whole "hand stand kick and balance against the wall" move is something I just haven't been able to master yet. It's so scary to be facing the hardwood, pushing away from it. I feel like I should scream, "Fuck back, wood floor!"
My English class continues to suck. I can tell it's going to be sucking me dry all quarter and I'm getting a little nervous. Uh oh, here come the CSOs.
Yep, just got kicked out. Now back in my room. Annoying ass roommate is pretending to sleep. I'm in a mean phase right now, so take this lightly: I will be so relieved when this assface leaves after winter quarter. Only a few more months, Dylan. March, March, March! By the way, he doesn't believe in social networking sites, so I can complain assured that he won't find this. Well, nothing's for sure in this crazy world. And anyway, he's the best roommate I've had so far, it's just that he doesn't ever leave, goes to bed by 12 at the latest, and is visibly annoyed when I go out to party. He also has some strange habits I don't quite get, but more on that later if y'all want to know.
My scene assignment for the BFA Super Saturday final involves cocksucking. More later.
Although I'm in a downer state right now, I still can't help but think how amazing my life is.
A few days ago, I was walking up to a friend's room for dinner. She lives on the third story and there was this girl in front of me that I quickly caught up to. I thought she was walking slow because she was tired. But at the second story, she stood against the wall and turned her head toward me, giving a weak smile that suggested, "Pass me." I can't explain the welling up of emotion I got from this girl. It was like all of the sudden, I was softly exuding sadness. I walked ahead and got to the top of the stairs some fifteen seconds before she did. I tried to walk slowly for some reason I still don't know. To make her feel better about herself, I guess. She quickly passed me. It was only on the stairs that she walked slow. We headed in opposite directions after a bit, and I was able to observe her walk. She was faintly limping a la Laura in Glass Menagerie thanks to one leg that was shorter than the other. I'll never forget that adorable, flustered face surrounded by bright red hair. Those eyes that communicated so much. I know for sure that she didn't just have a temporary injury. Those were the eyes of a person who grew up with that disability. The way her shoulders rose and her neck caved in, in an attempt to hide her blushing cheeks... it was all the body language of a sweet, beautiful, inverted childhood. I am in love with this girl. I don't think I can ever forget her. I could get really analytical here and say that I'm instantly attracted to "weak women" (see Bethany Tomberlin, whom I cannot find after eight years of searching, and Wheel Chair girl, who was the subject of a weird ode thing in junior year of High School), but the attraction isn't the same. By the way, don't mistake this for love. There are many different planes of human connection. I hope that the loving, accepting smile I gave her was enough to tell her that I cared. I'm hesitant to say that my heart aches for this girl, because I imagine she revokes pity and can survive easily. Hell, she passed me when we were walking on flat ground! But I know some things are a challenge and I just wanted her to know she had my love. It's my project to find this girl and either talk to her face to face or at least stalk her on facebook. Maybe it's better not to know her. No matter what, she'll stay with me forever.
I hope I wake up tomorrow refreshed and happy.
Enamored with this mystifying redhead.
-Big D.
I've started a journal to chronicle my experiences in the BFA. It's great because I can write about all of the drama that will happen and not get shit for it! Seriously though, it will be very fun to read in a couple years.
Got too drunk last night. God, I loves me some cheap wine, but it doesn't seem to love me. It's terrifying to wake up with a receipt in your pocket, but it's nice to know that between the 8 dollar burrito and the 3 dollar bagel, I chose the bagel. At least drunk me doesn't forget that I'm a poor college student.
I have King's midterm on Monday. Kill me. I hate Iceman Cometh, didn't read much of All My Sons, have not bought or sparknoted Member of the Wedding, and didn't buy the reader. King sucks ass for making me spend so much money, anyway.
Our Acting midterm is Tuesday. I'm so excited to see what the other class has come up with, but also very nervous for the faculty to see my piece. It's in good shape, and Annie really hasn't been able to say much about it in the way of critiques. However, there is still part of it that I'm going to work on Monday night after my King-term. I'll be sure to tell you how it goes.
I've stopped being a wuss about my car-accident-arm and started doing cartwheels in Movement. They suck, but I'm doing them. Headstands are not getting any easier because I can't seem to balance my legs. The whole "hand stand kick and balance against the wall" move is something I just haven't been able to master yet. It's so scary to be facing the hardwood, pushing away from it. I feel like I should scream, "Fuck back, wood floor!"
My English class continues to suck. I can tell it's going to be sucking me dry all quarter and I'm getting a little nervous. Uh oh, here come the CSOs.
Yep, just got kicked out. Now back in my room. Annoying ass roommate is pretending to sleep. I'm in a mean phase right now, so take this lightly: I will be so relieved when this assface leaves after winter quarter. Only a few more months, Dylan. March, March, March! By the way, he doesn't believe in social networking sites, so I can complain assured that he won't find this. Well, nothing's for sure in this crazy world. And anyway, he's the best roommate I've had so far, it's just that he doesn't ever leave, goes to bed by 12 at the latest, and is visibly annoyed when I go out to party. He also has some strange habits I don't quite get, but more on that later if y'all want to know.
My scene assignment for the BFA Super Saturday final involves cocksucking. More later.
Although I'm in a downer state right now, I still can't help but think how amazing my life is.
A few days ago, I was walking up to a friend's room for dinner. She lives on the third story and there was this girl in front of me that I quickly caught up to. I thought she was walking slow because she was tired. But at the second story, she stood against the wall and turned her head toward me, giving a weak smile that suggested, "Pass me." I can't explain the welling up of emotion I got from this girl. It was like all of the sudden, I was softly exuding sadness. I walked ahead and got to the top of the stairs some fifteen seconds before she did. I tried to walk slowly for some reason I still don't know. To make her feel better about herself, I guess. She quickly passed me. It was only on the stairs that she walked slow. We headed in opposite directions after a bit, and I was able to observe her walk. She was faintly limping a la Laura in Glass Menagerie thanks to one leg that was shorter than the other. I'll never forget that adorable, flustered face surrounded by bright red hair. Those eyes that communicated so much. I know for sure that she didn't just have a temporary injury. Those were the eyes of a person who grew up with that disability. The way her shoulders rose and her neck caved in, in an attempt to hide her blushing cheeks... it was all the body language of a sweet, beautiful, inverted childhood. I am in love with this girl. I don't think I can ever forget her. I could get really analytical here and say that I'm instantly attracted to "weak women" (see Bethany Tomberlin, whom I cannot find after eight years of searching, and Wheel Chair girl, who was the subject of a weird ode thing in junior year of High School), but the attraction isn't the same. By the way, don't mistake this for love. There are many different planes of human connection. I hope that the loving, accepting smile I gave her was enough to tell her that I cared. I'm hesitant to say that my heart aches for this girl, because I imagine she revokes pity and can survive easily. Hell, she passed me when we were walking on flat ground! But I know some things are a challenge and I just wanted her to know she had my love. It's my project to find this girl and either talk to her face to face or at least stalk her on facebook. Maybe it's better not to know her. No matter what, she'll stay with me forever.
I hope I wake up tomorrow refreshed and happy.
Enamored with this mystifying redhead.
-Big D.
Monday, October 12, 2009
What did you do in college today?
I did a headstand. Fuck yeah, bitches. I did this:
Not even kidding. Jeff Mills is a God. "It's the small victories," he said, after I thanked him for the day's class. I was freaked out that I would hurt my arm (it's been almost 2 years since the car accident) but everything was fine. It's a lot easier than it looks! The balancing is the tough part. Also, I can TOTALLY do a backward roll now! I was having so much trouble with them at first, but now I'm so pro. Well, I don't want to get cocky. But I've got it down now.
Today was so busy. Voice and Movement from 9 to 12 and then a Movement workshop with Tim Miller, a fantastic artist whom you should look up. He's very political and socially active. The Supreme Court struck down his case against the US Government for taking away his Artist's Grant because of homosexual subject matter. "Standards of decency" are constitutional criterion for federal funding of the arts. Can you believe that shit? Basically, we have no freedom of expression when we use Uncle Sam's money. His master class was very cool. We created our own 30 second pieces in groups of 3 and 4. Mine was very abstract, but he really liked it. The other three people totally gave me a chance to act in theirs. All in all I played myself, a sourfully neglectful father, a fat pervert in a grocery store, and a delicious red apple. I was approached as the latter all damn day. I must have made an impression.
Then I had American Drama in which my phone went off on the LOUD setting! So scary, especially because everyone was falling asleep. I ate with Cassie, constantly asking why she was eating her birthday dinner with ME, and then went to Tim's performance at the Multi Cultural Center. After, I hung with Cassielicious, ate a cupcake, told my famous toilet pregnancy story, made a few friends and then came home. Did some homework and now I be bloggin'!
Oh, I forgot. I went to see Irwin after Drama, and we had a really great little chat about Rabbit Hole, my excitement about the program, Tim's workshop, and I spilled my heart about how amazing it is to be taught by Annie. I feel like when Irwin and I talk, it's a mutual lovefest of the arts. I passionately speak of my love, excitement, frustration, fear of my craft while he nods, wide-eyed and with a deep sense of wonder, as if to say "Yes, I know. You don't know how much this speaks to me. Go on. I am listening." Finally, I left after an invitation to come back next week like always. I later remarked to Cassie that I hoped he had cleaned my jizz of of his casting couch so that Trevor Wade (who came in after me) had someplace to sit. Yeah... self-rape is kinda how I described our passionate chats to CassMcGass.
Well, I'm going to get up EARLY tomorrow to eat breakfast with Cassie and Liz. Don't have class til 1:30 and it's my ONLY day that late, but I'm gettin' up at 8:20. Ew. Need to sleep. I also need to memorize a beautiful poem for a character I'm doing in Annie's class. I started with the picture below and then found a poem that I think creates a really dynamic character. I'll explain more after tomorrow's workshop with it.
Not even kidding. Jeff Mills is a God. "It's the small victories," he said, after I thanked him for the day's class. I was freaked out that I would hurt my arm (it's been almost 2 years since the car accident) but everything was fine. It's a lot easier than it looks! The balancing is the tough part. Also, I can TOTALLY do a backward roll now! I was having so much trouble with them at first, but now I'm so pro. Well, I don't want to get cocky. But I've got it down now.
Today was so busy. Voice and Movement from 9 to 12 and then a Movement workshop with Tim Miller, a fantastic artist whom you should look up. He's very political and socially active. The Supreme Court struck down his case against the US Government for taking away his Artist's Grant because of homosexual subject matter. "Standards of decency" are constitutional criterion for federal funding of the arts. Can you believe that shit? Basically, we have no freedom of expression when we use Uncle Sam's money. His master class was very cool. We created our own 30 second pieces in groups of 3 and 4. Mine was very abstract, but he really liked it. The other three people totally gave me a chance to act in theirs. All in all I played myself, a sourfully neglectful father, a fat pervert in a grocery store, and a delicious red apple. I was approached as the latter all damn day. I must have made an impression.
Then I had American Drama in which my phone went off on the LOUD setting! So scary, especially because everyone was falling asleep. I ate with Cassie, constantly asking why she was eating her birthday dinner with ME, and then went to Tim's performance at the Multi Cultural Center. After, I hung with Cassielicious, ate a cupcake, told my famous toilet pregnancy story, made a few friends and then came home. Did some homework and now I be bloggin'!
Oh, I forgot. I went to see Irwin after Drama, and we had a really great little chat about Rabbit Hole, my excitement about the program, Tim's workshop, and I spilled my heart about how amazing it is to be taught by Annie. I feel like when Irwin and I talk, it's a mutual lovefest of the arts. I passionately speak of my love, excitement, frustration, fear of my craft while he nods, wide-eyed and with a deep sense of wonder, as if to say "Yes, I know. You don't know how much this speaks to me. Go on. I am listening." Finally, I left after an invitation to come back next week like always. I later remarked to Cassie that I hoped he had cleaned my jizz of of his casting couch so that Trevor Wade (who came in after me) had someplace to sit. Yeah... self-rape is kinda how I described our passionate chats to CassMcGass.
Well, I'm going to get up EARLY tomorrow to eat breakfast with Cassie and Liz. Don't have class til 1:30 and it's my ONLY day that late, but I'm gettin' up at 8:20. Ew. Need to sleep. I also need to memorize a beautiful poem for a character I'm doing in Annie's class. I started with the picture below and then found a poem that I think creates a really dynamic character. I'll explain more after tomorrow's workshop with it.
The Serenity in Stones
Simon J. Ortiz
I am holding this turquoise
in my hands.
My hands hold the sky
wrought in this little stone.
There is a cloud
at the furthest boundary.
The world is somewhere underneath.
I turn the stone, and there is more sky.
This is the serenity possible in stones,
the place of a feeling to which one belongs.
I am happy as I hold this sky
in my hands, in my eyes, and in myself.
'Night, all.
-Big D
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Lollipop ,Lollipop ,Lolli- Lollipop, Lollipop Lolli-
I feel different this school year.
I think there are a lot of reasons, but here are a few.
I don't like living in the dorms again very much. Going from a strong, loving community with so many activities to do at any time to the drab, lifeless Mountain Cluster in San Rafael is depressing. Also depressing is the fact that only like 10% of 2012s still have meal plans and that means I only have about 5 people to eat with on any given day. Half of the time I eat alone, which isn't terrible or embarrassing, but it is lonely. When I have eaten with people, it's been hilariously fun. Singing dirty rap songs as an elderly British aristocrat makes even the worst pasta bearable.
The BFA scares me. It's scary because I love it so much and it's such a challenge. I've never loved anything this hard. Mock Trial came fairly easy to me. Swim team was definitely not a love. This is like the combination of those two, plus passion. Do you understand why it's scary now? With swimming, I might have "cheated" a bit at practice in order to save some breath or not get as sore. I'd only really try at something I couldn't do if others were watching and I had to prove myself or "encourage encouragement." In the BFA, there are things I cannot physically do in comparison to the rest of the class, and it makes me fucking sad! For those of you who don't know, the core classes for the BFA are Voice, Movement, and Acting. Movement is the one I'm most referring to.
A normal day in Movement consists of:
1.) We always start the class with hugs. You hug every one of your classmates.
2.) Following Jeff. Jeff Mills is the teacher, a god like the rest of the faculty. He has us run after him in a single file line while he throws a ball to each of us and we have to throw it back, all the while still moving. We then walk on the balls of our feet, heels, outsides, insides, combinations of all, and then in lunges. Finally we get into a circle and do intense stretching and different kinds of Sun Salutations. For those of you not familiar with yoga, it's not as easy as it looks.
http://www.abc-of-yoga.com/yogapractice/sunsalutation.asp
We add in cat, cow, downward facing down, child's pose... a lot.
3.) We throw 3 balls around the circle, naming the person we are throwing them too. Takes a lot of concentration.
4.) We break out the tumbling mats and learn a variety of gymnastic-type moves. So far we've covered somersaults, forward rolls, shoulder rolls, backward rolls (so fucking hard) volleyball jumps, 360 degree twists, and correct cartwheels. With my arm still weak, he told me I don't have to do the cartwheels, but I'm afraid that it doesn't make me look good to stand back and watch.
5.) After this we do one of many things. Usually it's an exercise to teach a principle of space or dramatic tension. We might pose and then our partner has to fill in the negative space, or we might run toward our partner at full tilt from opposite ends of the room and meet in the middle as close to them as possible without touching or breaking eye contact.
6.) We finish the class with hugs.
When I'm in this class, I have the time of my life. But I can't shake the sadness I feel at not being able to do some things or do them well. I know there is always someone who can do things better than you, but I want to progress. I'm trying to loose weight, which I know will help with a lot of this, but in the mean time I'm having a lot of trouble keeping the faith in myself. If it weren't for my amazing classmates or Jeff's support, I would probably be crying in the bathroom after every class. I can't imagine loosing half of them by the end of the year. I can't imagine ever leaving them.
Voice with Michael Morgan is incredible. The man is a god. I was having trouble with a breathing exercise and he came up behind me, placed his hands on my neck, pulled it toward the sky and all of the sudden, I was breathing more accurately than ever.
Annie's acting class continues to amaze me. She is making me approach everything we do with a childlike sense of wonder, which is what every artist should have. I shocked myself with how deeply connected I got to a character in a scene in which my only lines were 'no' and my partner's lines were 'please'. That was only half my responsibility, as Andrew Fromer, my partner, was perfection. I got some amazing feedback and I felt like I would never question that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life ever again. I'll never forget the exercise we did with the egg.
This program is fantastic and I can't ever imagine leaving it. I'm working for myself. I'm challenging myself to grow in ways I've never thought possible. It's making me feel alive.
Dinner soon with Maggie. Chargers game starting in 15.
Something I learned from seeing Whip It yesterday with Emily: Just because you have a new family doesn't mean you throw the old one away.
That line really spoke to me.
-Big D
I think there are a lot of reasons, but here are a few.
I don't like living in the dorms again very much. Going from a strong, loving community with so many activities to do at any time to the drab, lifeless Mountain Cluster in San Rafael is depressing. Also depressing is the fact that only like 10% of 2012s still have meal plans and that means I only have about 5 people to eat with on any given day. Half of the time I eat alone, which isn't terrible or embarrassing, but it is lonely. When I have eaten with people, it's been hilariously fun. Singing dirty rap songs as an elderly British aristocrat makes even the worst pasta bearable.
The BFA scares me. It's scary because I love it so much and it's such a challenge. I've never loved anything this hard. Mock Trial came fairly easy to me. Swim team was definitely not a love. This is like the combination of those two, plus passion. Do you understand why it's scary now? With swimming, I might have "cheated" a bit at practice in order to save some breath or not get as sore. I'd only really try at something I couldn't do if others were watching and I had to prove myself or "encourage encouragement." In the BFA, there are things I cannot physically do in comparison to the rest of the class, and it makes me fucking sad! For those of you who don't know, the core classes for the BFA are Voice, Movement, and Acting. Movement is the one I'm most referring to.
A normal day in Movement consists of:
1.) We always start the class with hugs. You hug every one of your classmates.
2.) Following Jeff. Jeff Mills is the teacher, a god like the rest of the faculty. He has us run after him in a single file line while he throws a ball to each of us and we have to throw it back, all the while still moving. We then walk on the balls of our feet, heels, outsides, insides, combinations of all, and then in lunges. Finally we get into a circle and do intense stretching and different kinds of Sun Salutations. For those of you not familiar with yoga, it's not as easy as it looks.
http://www.abc-of-yoga.com/yogapractice/sunsalutation.asp
We add in cat, cow, downward facing down, child's pose... a lot.
3.) We throw 3 balls around the circle, naming the person we are throwing them too. Takes a lot of concentration.
4.) We break out the tumbling mats and learn a variety of gymnastic-type moves. So far we've covered somersaults, forward rolls, shoulder rolls, backward rolls (so fucking hard) volleyball jumps, 360 degree twists, and correct cartwheels. With my arm still weak, he told me I don't have to do the cartwheels, but I'm afraid that it doesn't make me look good to stand back and watch.
5.) After this we do one of many things. Usually it's an exercise to teach a principle of space or dramatic tension. We might pose and then our partner has to fill in the negative space, or we might run toward our partner at full tilt from opposite ends of the room and meet in the middle as close to them as possible without touching or breaking eye contact.
6.) We finish the class with hugs.
When I'm in this class, I have the time of my life. But I can't shake the sadness I feel at not being able to do some things or do them well. I know there is always someone who can do things better than you, but I want to progress. I'm trying to loose weight, which I know will help with a lot of this, but in the mean time I'm having a lot of trouble keeping the faith in myself. If it weren't for my amazing classmates or Jeff's support, I would probably be crying in the bathroom after every class. I can't imagine loosing half of them by the end of the year. I can't imagine ever leaving them.
Voice with Michael Morgan is incredible. The man is a god. I was having trouble with a breathing exercise and he came up behind me, placed his hands on my neck, pulled it toward the sky and all of the sudden, I was breathing more accurately than ever.
Annie's acting class continues to amaze me. She is making me approach everything we do with a childlike sense of wonder, which is what every artist should have. I shocked myself with how deeply connected I got to a character in a scene in which my only lines were 'no' and my partner's lines were 'please'. That was only half my responsibility, as Andrew Fromer, my partner, was perfection. I got some amazing feedback and I felt like I would never question that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life ever again. I'll never forget the exercise we did with the egg.
This program is fantastic and I can't ever imagine leaving it. I'm working for myself. I'm challenging myself to grow in ways I've never thought possible. It's making me feel alive.
Dinner soon with Maggie. Chargers game starting in 15.
Something I learned from seeing Whip It yesterday with Emily: Just because you have a new family doesn't mean you throw the old one away.
That line really spoke to me.
-Big D
Thursday, September 24, 2009
"Dylan. Ripples... desk... bones."
I know it's only been a few days since my last post, but I have a lot of things to say.
Today was the first day of class and since none of my professors or TAs took part in the Walkout, I had class all day. My section for English 10 (Lit) was cool. My TA's favorite show is Glee, he's from Albany, NY, and he was very interested in the fact that I'm a theater major. He kept asking if I would be in Rabbit Hole since we're reading it in class and are supposed to attend a performance.
This brings me to my next class, Fundamentals of Acting (THTR15A). Anne Torsiglieri, my teacher and a Broadway vet (although she did not talk about her past work in class) is just great. She's engaging and makes me feel at ease. However, I felt like I was holding myself back in class today, which I need to learn not to do. I was nervous, okay? And the exercises we did were weird and uncomfortable, which is what they were supposed to be. But it was only the first class and things will change. "Everything changes" is the thing I hear most from older BFAers.
One of the activities was writing about ourselves in a stream of consciousness. I was so not ready for that, and the end product was ridiculous. After I re-read it, I felt like it did a great job of showing how confused I am about life right now, but other than that it was just terrible. Not a good portrait of me at all. Not a full, correct portrait, rather. Maybe I'll tack it on to the end. Maybe.
Because I was placed into the later acting class, I have to rush to my English 10 class, halfway across campus every Tuesday and Thursday. Not liking this. I don't have time to relax or debrief my mind. It's tough, okay? So, my freakin' English 10 class was so terrible. I think I'll like the class, but I sat through it thoroughly pissed off. Here's why:
The prof is having us buy $192.80 worth of books for this quarter already, and she was going to have the other readings available online. However, she asked the class to vote on whether they wanted a reader to purchase instead. We voted with iClickers, and it was very close, with online winning. THEN she let us discuss it. About six people said we should have readers for reasons such as:
"I like to take notes and mark up my readings."
"If people want to print out the pages, it will cost a lot in ink and paper."
"If people printed, it would waste trees."
"Staring at the computer for a long time makes your eyes hurt."
"You get distracted if you read online by things like Facebook."
Apparently, these STUPID ASS FUCKING CONCERNS actually convinced people. The second vote had readers winning by a landslide. So we'll have to buy another $35 thing to buy for this fucking class now. It was the first time I realized how many rich people go here. I had been told that SB had the richest kids in the UC system, but also the poorest. Well, English majors must be fucking rich as fuck. I'm not about to drop 250 bucks on this class. Sorry. And you can't resell readers. Fuck that shit.
So that was my day, not including a de-stressing dinner with Maggie, the DA application info session, and currently watching the premier of Grey's. Not liking it so far. Maybe there was a REASON I stopped watching last season after the first thirty minutes.
Anyway, I'm really tired right now and my head feels super heavy because of that. I'm going to try to relax. No classes tomorrow, but I do have the Theater/Dance Convocation! Oh and Stephen Schwartz, composer/lyricist of Wicked, Godspell, and Pippin is doing a private Q&A with BFAers next weekend. Any questions I should ask for you all?
-Big D
Today was the first day of class and since none of my professors or TAs took part in the Walkout, I had class all day. My section for English 10 (Lit) was cool. My TA's favorite show is Glee, he's from Albany, NY, and he was very interested in the fact that I'm a theater major. He kept asking if I would be in Rabbit Hole since we're reading it in class and are supposed to attend a performance.
This brings me to my next class, Fundamentals of Acting (THTR15A). Anne Torsiglieri, my teacher and a Broadway vet (although she did not talk about her past work in class) is just great. She's engaging and makes me feel at ease. However, I felt like I was holding myself back in class today, which I need to learn not to do. I was nervous, okay? And the exercises we did were weird and uncomfortable, which is what they were supposed to be. But it was only the first class and things will change. "Everything changes" is the thing I hear most from older BFAers.
One of the activities was writing about ourselves in a stream of consciousness. I was so not ready for that, and the end product was ridiculous. After I re-read it, I felt like it did a great job of showing how confused I am about life right now, but other than that it was just terrible. Not a good portrait of me at all. Not a full, correct portrait, rather. Maybe I'll tack it on to the end. Maybe.
Because I was placed into the later acting class, I have to rush to my English 10 class, halfway across campus every Tuesday and Thursday. Not liking this. I don't have time to relax or debrief my mind. It's tough, okay? So, my freakin' English 10 class was so terrible. I think I'll like the class, but I sat through it thoroughly pissed off. Here's why:
The prof is having us buy $192.80 worth of books for this quarter already, and she was going to have the other readings available online. However, she asked the class to vote on whether they wanted a reader to purchase instead. We voted with iClickers, and it was very close, with online winning. THEN she let us discuss it. About six people said we should have readers for reasons such as:
"I like to take notes and mark up my readings."
"If people want to print out the pages, it will cost a lot in ink and paper."
"If people printed, it would waste trees."
"Staring at the computer for a long time makes your eyes hurt."
"You get distracted if you read online by things like Facebook."
Apparently, these STUPID ASS FUCKING CONCERNS actually convinced people. The second vote had readers winning by a landslide. So we'll have to buy another $35 thing to buy for this fucking class now. It was the first time I realized how many rich people go here. I had been told that SB had the richest kids in the UC system, but also the poorest. Well, English majors must be fucking rich as fuck. I'm not about to drop 250 bucks on this class. Sorry. And you can't resell readers. Fuck that shit.
So that was my day, not including a de-stressing dinner with Maggie, the DA application info session, and currently watching the premier of Grey's. Not liking it so far. Maybe there was a REASON I stopped watching last season after the first thirty minutes.
Anyway, I'm really tired right now and my head feels super heavy because of that. I'm going to try to relax. No classes tomorrow, but I do have the Theater/Dance Convocation! Oh and Stephen Schwartz, composer/lyricist of Wicked, Godspell, and Pippin is doing a private Q&A with BFAers next weekend. Any questions I should ask for you all?
-Big D
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