Um, I WILL make your bed rock... it's not even an option.

Dude, y'all... I'm half way through with college. It's fucking crazy.

Things I'm worried about:

1.) Getting my English minor done/started. Yeah... BFA does make that aspect of college a bit hard.

2.) Finding a job... It's impossible.

3.) Money!!! Who isn't worried about that?


Things I'm excited about:

1.) Romeo and Juliet this summer! Casting TBA.

2.) Turning 20, although I'm not sure how exciting that is... one more year til I can buy alc, but my teenage years are over!

3.) Next years season!! I mean, shit... it's gonna be amazing!

4.) Remounting "McBeth" in the park and downtown, even if it means we have to recast Patrick and Ben... I'm sure the replacements will be so much fun to work with! Andrew, if you still actually read this shit, I'm pulling for you, buddy.

5.) Living in an apartment and being a Junior, and being able to work in the BFA without worrying about cuts... it's going to be a much more safe environment.

And I guess I could go on... it's a very exciting time!

Next year is going to be different... good different. I've gotten so many THTR electives/requirements done that I'll be doing a lot more English classes when I can fit them in, and I might even get to take some breaks from these crazy fucking unit-heavy quarters.

I'm also working on a lot of different material that could morph into... well pretty much anything. I'm considering a few different one person show sometime next year, maybe trying to direct something I've written, and maybe some other random stuff. It's scary, 'cause I've never really put my own work out there for anyone to see... only a few people I trust. It's cray-cray.

And now for some soul-shit. Blogging is hard. I have so much I can't mothafuckin post on the internet... so sad. And that's all the soul-shit.

Also, working (very slowly) on a web series idea with some peeps, mostly Andrew and Brittany Carriger as of now. We'll see! I'm a little worried about copyright issues with music... Who knows, Andrew might have to start mothafuckin composing again. I don't want to legal shit.

Stay cool, swim in a pool, not a canal! You'll die.

-Big D.

I'm a mole, digging in my hole, digging in my soul now, coming down, excavation...

In many ways, this blog is one of the few constant things in my life. It's where I keep a lot of memories, and when I read through old entries, it's like looking through old photos on facebook.

I've changed my opinion on photos. If it's not blurry and I don't look absolutely terrible, I keep it. Why erase yourself? I mean, who fucking knows if you won't look WORSE in twenty years? You may like seeing yourself the way you are, very very soon.

So, just over a week ago, I had an experience I won't go into the details of, but it made me realize a few things. I won't get too far into those either, but I will say I found some extreme emotional depth within myself, and I sort of found out that I do have the means to go deeper than I thought I could onstage. Currently, I'm faced with material in Three Sisters that asks me to weep twice, I believe, as two different characters. It's easy to get around on one, just because I'm going to take it in a direction where I'm throwing myself so far into the madness of my character's love that tears may just come up. I'm finally in the place where I can let go. I'm loosing my loyalties to people who's opinions would hold me back. And as our class shrinks and shrinks, I've found that my relationships with people have changed a lot. I was very hurt after the last cut, loosing people who I had gotten very close to. Loosing a partner is not easy, and I lost one acting scene partner and one movement scene partner.

I'm not really sure what I'm getting at.

-Big D

reasons to be... what?

I never thought I'd be involved in BFA dramz. I'm trapped in a Niel Labute play, a character who needs to express himself but can't do it. Why can't I go back to just talking about the drama?

"McBeth" is a smash.

If you throw a nerf ball over Oprah's hedge, maybe you'll get to go inside her house!

I have been so tired lately. I think it has to do with all the shit I'm doing. Movement is more of a workout this quarter than ever, and then there's the uber physical "McBeth" every night, and on top of those two, the gym is a new hobby. So yes, I'm tired. But I almost like it.

Thursday I slept until 11:30 since we had no Acting that day. Friday I slept until noon. Today I woke up just before 1. I was a little worried at first. Am I okay? I have been a little down in the dumps lately, but I'm pretty sure it's from LACK of sleep... so this is probably good, right? Eh, I don't know... Then I realized, as I stood up and had to try really hard not to fall, that my body is just tired. This weekend is our only break from "McBeth" rehearsals, and I'm just soaking in the relaxation. What's wrong with that? I'm sweating my ass of 2-3 times a day, so why not sleep til noon on my days off? I mean, a traditional New York actor rises at Noon and sleeps at 1 or 2... sort of. So give me a break. To those who say you can't catch up on sleep... fuck you. Why do doctors prescribe weeks of rest after patients experience exhaustion?

In other news, it's been an oddly emotional time, as I've told only a few people. I won't go into details, but I've been thinking a lot about Sam, John, and even my fucking dead pets... weird. And it's all been coming up in my mind in Voice class where we're doing some deep exercises with imagination and vision. Oh, and car accident crap came up too... out loud. I just hope I don't go from Gossip Boy to Tumultuous Conscience Boy, haha. I'm not too worried. Like I said before, it's all sleep, I'm sure. I was averaging 5-6 hours last week. Not enough for an ACTING program.

In other news, I've started/restarted a writing project. No hate about not working on the book, y'all. It's on my old hard drive. I need to transfer it soon, but that probably won't happen until after "McBeth" finishes. Then I'll have some free time.

Saw Date Night yesterday... it was really funny!


Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

-Big D.

Exhilarated!!

I got cast in Gerry Hansen's "McBeth" and I couldn't be happier! For those of you who don't know, it is a Commedia del Arte version of the Shakespearean tragedy. Look up Commedia... it will blow your mind. Just got back from our first rehearsal which included a read-through, character work, and lots of exploration. I'm sworn to secrecy on all aspects of the production, but the end product is certain to be something I will be so proud of! The rest of my troupe are fantastic, every one of them. Such a physical form of theater is an exhausting challenge, but the results are truly magical. It's sweaty work... not even. It's sweaty play that will soon turn into art. Hell, it is art right now. You all need to come and see it!

Our show is an hour long, and we have three weeks from Saturday... The other three One Acts are all about 15-20 minutes long and they are the first bill (we perform after intermission). Apparently, even though their shows are a quarter as long as ours, and the largest show has half the amount of characters as we do (multiply our 10 characters times about 3 or 4 as far as costumes go), they feel that they have a tight schedule, and so our original opening night is an "invited dress". Nice, y'all. We'll be ready... they apparently won't be. It's a bit embarrassing, really. So our initial Friday night performance is an invited dress. How quaint.
Performances are in the Studio Theater on April 24-25 at 2PM, and April 24 at 8PM. We will also have Shakespeare in the Park performances April 30-May 1 at 7PM in Anis'oyo Park in Isla Vista.
Make sure to check us out!

In other news, we are working on Chekov this quarter in acting. I'm working on a scene from The Cherry Orchard as Trofimov with Garrett Ward, and it's going to be very fun and challenging. Irwin is teaching us for these first 5 weeks and it's been very interesting and honestly very helpful so far.
In voice, we are working on Shakespeare. We will perfect the way we speak his words, sonnets and all. We even get to write our own sonnets and do Poetry Jam Circles in class!

Movement is Acro Yoga... so challenging but AMAZING. Yesterday... I flew. I fucking flew. And I became a whale for a short amount of time. Life is Magical in Jeff Mills's class.
I'm having a ball this quarter, even though it is exhausting. The exhaustion is exhilarating.


-Big D.

So many things have happened...

... since my last blog. I hated not having a computer this quarter... last quarter. WINTER 2010 IS OVER!!!! It's been a great one. Highlights:

Ball Pieces:
Our ball pieces were so amazing. I didn't realize how intuitively creative my class was until this project. I did mine to "Dig a Little Deeper" from Princess and the Frog, and got raves across the board. In fact, it elicited tears from some faculty members... and BOTH of the cameras filming it failed. Oh well, it will always live on in memory.

In-class Scenes: It was wonderful to work with Allie this quarter on Picnic, which was super challenging but also lots of fun. Love you, Allie! Working with Erica on Loose Ends was quite an experience. The subject matter was very difficult to relate to, but we leaned on each other so much in our rehearsal process. I love her so much!

Angels in America Scenes: I got cast in two! Both as Prior, which I was ecstatic about. I worked with the very talented Emily Mckeown, Sigmond Varga, and Alyssa Williams. It was a pleasure to work on one of my FAVORITE plays as one of my FAVORITE characters.

Crucible Scenes: This scene was fun as well, though it was no Angels. I did make some great new friends outside of the BFA.

Dr. Daphne: I wasn't truly a part of Dr. Daphne until the final three weeks, but when I finally got into the thick of it (excluding the many private meetings for music rehearsals and table work) it was a blast. I'm very excited to see the final product on TV soon! I'll let you know when it happens. I made so many great friends!

There was a really huge scheduling conflict with Daphne and Super Saturday this quarter that freaked the fuck out of me. Just not a good deal, and I'll forgo the details here. Everything ended up fine, I just felt really bad, and in the end, indebted to the faculty for their support.

So, now I'm home for a few more days, and then Spring quarter starts. I'm one of the 16 lucky artists who get to continue in the BFA for one more quarter. I can't take for granted that there are no more chances after this. This could be it, and I plan to not waste a second of my time. I will continue to work my hardest, dedicate myself to the art we create, but most importantly to have fun. I love every single person in this department, and I can't wait to spend time with them again. I hope this quarter is the most fun/creative yet. I plan to have a blast.

Also, I'm on a gym kick, thanks to Melani Carroll and Brian Bock, two fantastic actors who invited me to take part in their exercise plan. So yeah... it's actually lots of fun, especially with them, and we hope to expand our group! The elliptical is very addicting, y'all.

So yeah, running every day down here like over Winter break, trying to stay on top of stuff.

My ipod got stolen... sadness. But I have my wonderful Droid!!!

I really need a computer soon. Might explore Wal-Mart or Best Buy soon.

Well, I hope you are sufficiently filled in. Last quarter was so busy, but lots of fun... but really really busy. I haven't been cast yet for next quarter, but we still have Grad Directed One Acts, Commedia Macbeth... er, I mean, "McBeth", and then there's AIDA across campus... not very interested. If scheduling conflicts happen again, life will suck big ones. Also, hopefully the film I'm working on, "Harry Balls and the Spontaneous Erection" will resume filming! Our one day was super fun.

Until later, y'all...
-Big D.

Discoveries!

The redhead juggles.

I am tired.

I feel 96% overwhelmed.

I have to keep going.


It's visceral.

-Big D.