Dylan Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Hey yall. Well, Thursday I auditioned for One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest with my CAMP monologue. It went well... if "well" means it sucked.

Here's some background info. My monologue is a scene in which my character, Vlad, tells another character that he has OCD and his life, therefore, is not perfect. It's a good piece, and I thought, hey, it's a show about a looneybin, why not? Just kidding... although that's what everyone else seemed to think. More on that later.

Anyway, mine had tons of numbers in it that I had to recite. And it's not like a busybody like me sat down and memorized all of the numbers in order. No way! I barely had time to memorize the intercalary sentences! I figured, no one will check my math, why bother? I'll just get THESE five numbers right for THAT part, since you could check it in your head. So, I try to get it down during sixth period, my unscheduled class, and then I drive back to school for the auditions.

Okay. The audition was a freak show. I'm not naming names, but everyone seemed to be going a little crazy up there. The first girl laid on the ground and imitated grass by kicking her legs, waving her arms and chanting, "Photosynthesis! Photosynthesis!" Then she imitated the rocks in her front yard. And a lizard. Very weird. Man, it's a good thing my blog is read by no one! She'll never find out.

So, people are getting up there and being crazy. Then my name gets called. Okay. So I go up and give my introduction and throw in a little icebreaker. Then I start. About ten seconds in, I screw it up. I start spouting off my incorrect numbers BEFORE I finished one of my intercalary sections! Holy Crap! I was stumbling and looking at the floor, but I kept going. What else am I supposed to do? Jesus! But then, I start to play it off like I have OCD... it's called ACTING.

Apparently it worked. And when I sat down, no one said a thing about it. I asked some people how I did and, what was the number one response? "You did good. You looked like you really had OCD." You guys, there's maybe one person in my entire town with OCD. None of these kids knows anyone with OCD. This made me feel tons better.

But I got a callback. Along with everyone. Yes. We all sucked so much that he couldn't pick any good people. History will tell you that it was because that was just about the number of people he needed for the show, though I prefer to think I suck. Any actor will tell you the same, I'm sure.

I started the Mock Trial meeting before tweaking it to the Drama Room. Callbacks lasted till 4:45. I read for McMurphy the most, which is a good sign. But it makes me feel crappy because I don't want people to hate me because they think I was precast or something. I have the craziest anxieties. I can stand in front of a crowd of thousands but I get embarrassed when I'm holding a Harry Potter Book in public. It's crazy.

So, that was all Thursday and Friday... Anything new? Um... Renee came down yesterday with a friend from San Diego named Valentine. No, he was not a female prostitute, but a very cool Russian guy who goes to Mesa with her. He was pretty cool. And he likes Mongolian Beef... which was actually pretty good. Oh, and I fell in D'Ann's pool Friday night and my phone got screwed up! It was blinking white and spazzing out and making weird electrical sounds... I thought it was going to blow up. But today, it's fine! Only one side of the screen is darker than the other.

Now, I have to go get ready to eat lunch with Alex. Tacos & Beer is calling us! Hopefully, there won't be really intoxicated men who try to touch us this time. Calling the police is another anxiety of mine.

Keep reading, whoever you are. I hope this is interesting.

-Big D

PS: If you are reading, feel free to send me a message saying you are. It'll make me feel cool.