Hello all. I know it's been a long while, but I've decided to blog again. This is mostly due to the fact that my short-lived video blogs were met with heinously horrible comments from total strangers.
I've decided that I'm going to address and issue in each of my new blogs. This time, that issue is the art of complimenting.
How long has it been since you've been complimented? Think very hard. I'm not looking for a simple, "Nice haircut!" or "Cool shirt!" although those do feel wonderful to get. What I'm talking about is the real deal. Has anyone ever told you something like, "I think you are a natural public speaker," or perhaps, "Your creativity is really amazing. Keep it up." When I asked myself this question, my answer was, "Not enough." Then, I began to analyze the answer. In reality, I most likely got more of those kinds of compliments than "cool shirt, nice haircut." Just look at the archives of this blog and you'll see how much I did that warranted these praises. So... am I greedy? Why do I think I need more of those when I've already outdone most of my high school senior class?
It is because I am different now. In my freshman year of high school, I walked into drama class, cowbell in hand, and performed OVER THE MOON to great acclaim. I owned that piece. Now that I am a freshman at UCSB, I've done nothing so rash. I'm too afraid of what people will think. Somewhere I lost that confidence of "I don't care what anyone else thinks." Now, I care more than ever. But is that beneficial?
Some would say no, because I want to act and I should showcase my talents, but do I really need to? I don't want it to have a negative effect. Here comes my first point and lesson:
1.) Do not actively seek out compliments.
If you are one of those people who hear a show tune and start singing along to it only to hear what people have to say about you, stop. Even if it is only to hear the sound of your own voice, stop. When I'm singing along to something, I have a completely different sound compared to when I'm performing that something. People even assume I'm making fun of songs when I sing along to them because it's a little ridiculous sounding. You don't have to sound ridiculous, but don't do it for yourself. Do it for fun. If there's a piano in the room, don't play it because there are other people with you. Would you play it if the room were empty? If yes, would you play the same way? Now for point number two...
2.) Give heartfelt, sincere compliments as often as you can.
Nothing feels better than to have someone else tell you that something you did was a good thing. This is not to say you should give out compliments like you give out your vaginas and/or penises on a Saturday night. However, if you think to yourself that something was good, tell the person who did it. Or applaud if the moment calls for it. And now point number three...
3.) Don't laud people who are purposely trying to show off for compliments.
The only explanation I have for this one is: If INSERT NAME OF SHOW-OFFY PERSON HERE is at the pianola, 90% of the time he/she is looking for compliments. Don't give it to them unless they really touched you with their talent. You should always give the talentless credit for trying, but do not give the talented credit for using you.
Be warned! If someone is fooling around at a rehearsal or something, they usually AREN'T showing off. Showing off is when someone gives a performance when there's no venue, no marquee, and a reluctant audience, AKA, you.
This concludes my blog on compliments. I probably won't stick to this format because that was really boring. I suck.
-Big D
