In a very confused place right now. Not really sure how much I should tell you.
So, my Acting midterm went very well, at least I thought so... until I talked to Irwin about it. "It wasn't realistic. Real people don't act like that. I have no idea what you are thinking right now. You were completely on display. Whats more, it was all like this *floats hand in straight line*. It didn't change. It wasn't real." Can you say it with me now? DISCOURAGEMENT! So I went to the rest of them, ready to hear that same things since they had all discussed them. Here is what I heard:
Michael Morgan had nothing to say except that my breath should have changed when my character went through his change. Otherwise, fine. Good voice, strong presence.
Jeff thought it was good, wonderful voice, great presence. For the movement midterm: Loosen up in the trunk, but otherwise very good. Awesome steadiness when I held Adam, great using principles from class, and adapting to the notes he gave. "A joy to have in class/Love how you approach tumbling." I was so in shock at this one, I forgot to tell him how much I love being in class.
Annie thought it was "Lovely. A really beautiful moment of truth... so simple." She did say that it had been better once in the rehearsal process, but there was nothing to worry about. Then we chatted about my scene, which I'll get to.
Tom said he only wrote on note: Nice. "Sometimes, the light bulb is on, and sometimes the light bulb is off. It was on. Hahaha... it was on!" Love this guy.
So yeah, everyone but Irwin thought it was pretty strong piece. Odd, isn't it?
Jordan and I have been working very hard on our scene (BURN THIS, by Lanford Wilson), and I've done a lot of character work on Larry. I was excited to present it in class for the second time, off book. Sadly, Annie had a lot to say to us, especially me, on things we weren't really getting right. I felt so bad for Jordan, having to stop so much. She even said at one point, "I know it's hard when you have a character this loaded to stop and start like we're doing. I'm so sorry." She said it in no way blaming me, but I felt responsible. The sad thing is, she would say, "Okay, lets stop. Good, you guys, really good. (Pause.) Larry, is this a comfortable situation? *No.* Right, and you are showing the uncomfortable, which is great and true. But is Larry good at putting on a show? *Yes.* Yes. So I really want you to plant yourself." Easy concepts, but tough when you're doing it over and over, and things start to blur, and you can't go four or five lines without stopping again. I know every bit helps, but it's not easy, and I feel like it looks like I've done no prep work.
Because today was a holiday, she didn't have office hours. I'm going to try to catch her tomorrow to ask her some questions. I think I know what my problem is. I've done a lot of work on Larry's relationships with the other characters, his goals, arc, and spine, but what I need to do is scan the scene, internal-monologue it, in a way. And I need to do more work on finding him physically. So that's what I'm confused about. I'm in this place where I feel comfortable and scared at the same time. I got great feedback on midterms, but I'm struggling with Larry. Granted, a lot of this is probably psyching myself out, but I'm genuinely worried. I want to get Larry right. I know him. I love him. I really share a lot with him. It's hard to realize you're playing a character so close to your heart wrongly. Failing in class resulted in feeling like general shit, and a big heap of loneliness. I have tons of close friends here, don't get me wrong, but I really miss talking to some people, especially people who don't have Internet. Seriously, we live in America in the 21st century. This is not okay. I really needed to talk, but right people weren't on facebook, texting is ridiculous for serious conversations if you don't have a Blackberry, and calling wastes minutes.
Auditions for Winter Quarter shows are a week from Saturday. Annie is going to be acting in Kingdom City, which makes me want to be in that one even more. It's going to be hard to get, and I haven't even read the script yet, but I really want this. I'm going to give it all I've got. Risa is doing that, and the script is still being tweaked, so it's not available to read yet. Jeff is doing Trojan Women, and sent out the audition pieces, all speeches.
In non-BFA news, I saw The Brothers Bloom last night, and it was fantastic. Totally cheered me up. Highly recommend it. My Music 20C midterm went amazingly. I did It's Hard to Speak My Heart from Parade, and really nailed it. I was so into the character of Leo. If you don't know Parade, look it up and prepare to fall in love. Did I mention Annie was in it? Now working on an Italian opera song.
Still hate English 10. Need to read The Bluest Eye.
King's class sucks as usual, but not having it today was amazing!
Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and I'm very excited. It's Tucson again, and Johno and his bf KC are going to be there this time! Looking forward to some substance abuse maybe???
Well, that's it, y'all. I fell like there's so much more, but there's not. Listen to Parade, ask if you need a link to the OBCR, and watch The Brothers Bloom.
-Big D
