In many ways, this blog is one of the few constant things in my life. It's where I keep a lot of memories, and when I read through old entries, it's like looking through old photos on facebook.
I've changed my opinion on photos. If it's not blurry and I don't look absolutely terrible, I keep it. Why erase yourself? I mean, who fucking knows if you won't look WORSE in twenty years? You may like seeing yourself the way you are, very very soon.
So, just over a week ago, I had an experience I won't go into the details of, but it made me realize a few things. I won't get too far into those either, but I will say I found some extreme emotional depth within myself, and I sort of found out that I do have the means to go deeper than I thought I could onstage. Currently, I'm faced with material in Three Sisters that asks me to weep twice, I believe, as two different characters. It's easy to get around on one, just because I'm going to take it in a direction where I'm throwing myself so far into the madness of my character's love that tears may just come up. I'm finally in the place where I can let go. I'm loosing my loyalties to people who's opinions would hold me back. And as our class shrinks and shrinks, I've found that my relationships with people have changed a lot. I was very hurt after the last cut, loosing people who I had gotten very close to. Loosing a partner is not easy, and I lost one acting scene partner and one movement scene partner.
I'm not really sure what I'm getting at.
-Big D
